From the season opener in Las Vegas to last week’s race in Gieten, Wout van Aert has been dominating the 2015 cyclocross season, snagging victories in every race that he’s entered. It’s a show of force that’s made even more impressive by the youth of van Aert. Having barely turned 21, this young rider is making waves in the professional peloton and forcing the collective will of an entire field of elite racers. On the surface, you may not notice much of a change, but having discovered one unnamed racers personal journal, we are able to get a closer look at the chaos that van Aert is truly causing.
Below is an uncensored excerpt from the aforementioned journal. But Reader beware! These are the private thoughts of a world class rider, and what we can only imagine to be thoughts shared by most of the current peloton
Fuck time and do not speak to me of its relativity. The lights turn green and the clocks start. An hour later Wout has won another race. Well, someone told me that Time is experienced and acts differently for different people. That must be what this is about! A second is longer for van Aert! He can cover more distance because he lives inside of each moment half a pedal stroke longer.
And I tell myself each and every race that the answer is simple. Just sit on his wheel. Murder yourself, turn yourself inside out, do whatever you have to do, just don’t let go of that wheel. But pacing means nothing to him. Respect means nothing. He doesn’t understand the accepted order of things, the way that these races have worked for years. It’s just attack… And I’m beginning to suspect that he’s so young his body doesn’t even produce lactic acid.
Van der Haar should get the hole shot, or Meeusen if he’s feeling frisky. We follow and go hard for a lap or two to get some room. Then we cruise a bit, letting whoever shouldn’t be in the front group roll off and get some sponsor time. They know they won’t last and we know they can be caught.
Laps 3 through 6 are for recovery, Wout!!!!
DO YOU EVEN CARE!?
He’s insane. That’s what it is. This son of a bitch is u23 world champ at age 20 and instead of winning two more times, he decides to come mess with us. Well, that’s just fucking great.
And he’s still on cantilever brakes!!!! That's what bothers me most.
I don’t want disc brakes. No one wants disc brakes. We’ve been racing Zonhoven on canti’s for years. How much better does anyone need to stop? They’re heavier and slower and terrible. But the sponsors want us on disc, so we ride disc. This is the way that professional cycling works, Wout! The industry thinks of the next bullshit you have to have and we ride it. This creates money for our sponsors, which turns into money for us. Do you understand basic economics?!
“Thru-Axle? Oh yeah, you definitely need that. What’s that you say? Oh no, you’ll need to buy all new wheels. That’s not compatible.”
Good lord, if I didn’t get this stuff for free I would have to give up the sport! And then van Aert rolls up like some Jon Bon Jovi and spits the eye of the establishment. Canti Brakes!
But seriously, dude. I’ve got maybe five good years left and you’ve got like 20 (Sven is proving that). You could be a ten time world champion! With your stupid Time pedals and Neon Socks… Oh, and Niels is your coach. Amazing… I’ve got my cousin writing training plans in our sprinter van.
And one more thing.
STOP RUNNING SO FAST! This is bike racing, not cross country! If you want to run a four minute mile then go to a track! I hope a Javelin impales you!
OK… I don’t want you to be impaled by a javelin. I just don’t know what to do, Wout. I’m drinking kale smoothies and measuring the rest of my food on a scale. I’m struggling to find watts in everything I do. Having my kids push me around in a wheelchair when we go do errands. The kids I had when you were 12, by the way!
It’s getting weird. You know when you ask so many questions that you lose the original concept? No? Of course you don’t. You just win.
You’ve broken me all the way.
Going to lay on the floor now and listen to B sides of the Smiths. You don’t know what a B side is, do you? Maybe I’ll do a bit of weeping...
Then I’m gonna grab that new jar of Nutella in the pantry and just go crazy. That’s what I’ll do. I mean, what’s the point in even trying anymore?
And the journal continues on in the same fashion for many more pages, ultimately devolving into random words and drawings. Some of the images are rather violent. Some are charged with a sexual tension too graphic to portray.
Quite a few seem to be tear stained.
To see what the fuss is about, check out the video below of van Aert in action at last weeks Superprestige: